And that you 'thought' you'd loved me. Even our past love was written off as a mistake..." Did I say that? I don't remember what adjective I used for that afternoon. And I know I had been saying that I thought I loved you, but I'm sure I just said that I loved you in the letter. You must have read it wrong. You admit that it upset you that it was typewritten, you probably had written it off before you ever read it."I sipped my wine, "Maybe. I do have to admit that I was so hurt by all of this. I don't think I was so angry by the time of the letter, but I was still hurt. Maybe I didn't read it all correctly. But even then..." Ralph's been trying to explain to me how much I hurt you. I'm sorry. I think I was so wrapped up in my own horrors I didn't understand. And Susan was saying you'd be alright. That you were a man, they get over these things. Again, I guess she was steadily peeling me away from you. That's what makes the way she helped over the letter so odd, even if you didn't. It should simply be there to coddle the senses so that they can focus on touch, so that they aren’t jarred out of the experience by anything distracting. Low light and soft music that barely registers upon the listener are best: white noise, nature sounds, and calming instrumental music that flows in one ear and out the other without leaving any sort of impression. Scents are good, as well, but again, should be only enough to keep the mind focused on the massage, rather than drawing attention to the scent itself.You’ll need to pick an oil for the massage. I like sweet almond oil, myself, but you’ll have to pick something that works for you. I’d avoid a scented oil, just because it can be a bit strong and distracting. I’ve got a strawberry scented bottle of oil, but using it just makes the room smell like a dessert and I get hungry, and you don’t want to be hungry while giving a massage because you might bite the wrong thing.Make sure that the room is a good temperature. You want your.
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